THE BOOK OF JAY

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Breaking the Mold: Life Lessons from a Pile of Legos

As an accountant by education and an analytical person to my core, I have to admit that I like order.  Debits must equal credits, and instructions are meant to be followed.  With that out of the way, Christmas Day back in 2008, was a day I’ll never forget—not because of the gifts I received, but because of the lesson I learned from my then eight-year-old son. Like many kids his age, he was a huge fan of all things Star Wars. If the Star Wars franchise produced it, we probably had it in our house. Toys, posters, pajamas, bedsheets, DVDs—our home was practically a shrine to the galaxy far, far away.

Alongside his love for Star Wars, my son had another passion: Legos. If you’ve ever lived with a Lego-loving child, you know the unique pain of stepping on a stray brick in the middle of the night. Our home had bins overflowing with Lego pieces, and my son’s favorite activity was building, taking apart, and rebuilding his creations. To him, Lego wasn’t just a toy but an endless world of possibility.  My son and his best friend used to have sleepovers, and they would stay up most of the night building their Lego fantasy world. It was amazing the time they spent together building.

When I reviewed his wish list for Santa that Christmas, it was clear that his two great passions were colliding. Every single item on his list was Star Wars-themed, and, except for a few dream requests (like a real Ewok), all of them were Lego sets. But there was one gift that stood above the rest—one that he wanted more than anything else: the Lego 6211 Imperial Star Destroyer.

For an eight-year-old, this was the ultimate challenge. It contained 1,366 pieces, which was more than double the size of any Lego set he had previously built. When he unwrapped that final gift, he screamed so loudly that I half-expected an Ewok running into the room.

Chaos vs. Order: A Lesson in Perspective

With the presents opened, I told my son to take his new Lego sets down to the basement, and I’d join him shortly. I expected he would start small—maybe warm up with the simpler sets before tackling the mighty 6211 Imperial Star Destroyer. I figured I had time to clean up the holiday mess and grab coffee before heading downstairs.

But when I turned the corner into the basement, what I saw stopped me in my tracks.

In most cases, Lego sets are organized in a very intentional fashion. The Lego 6211 set contained 15 bags filled with pieces numbered from one to 15.  The two instruction manuals guide you step-by-step to assemble a particular section corresponding to a specific bag number.  Things are expected to happen in a certain sequence. 

Not in my home! Instead of neatly organizing the bags or following the carefully designed instructions, my son dumped all 15 bags into a single, chaotic pile. Instruction manuals lay discarded on the other side of the room, untouched. And there, in the middle of this gray, monochromatic sea of tiny bricks, sat the happiest eight-year-old I had ever seen.

At first, I didn’t understand. My analytical, accountant brain was screaming inside my head. Lego had a plan—a design—an intricate step-by-step blueprint for what this set was supposed to become. Jay had a plan! My vision for this set was simple: We would follow the instructions, assemble the pieces in their designated order, and proudly display the completed model on a shelf.

But my son had a completely different plan. To him, this wasn’t a set that needed to become just a Star Destroyer. It was raw potential. It could be anything.

The Script of Life: Are You Following It Too Closely?

That Christmas memory has stayed with me because it reminds me of something much bigger than Legos.

In life, we’re often handed a script. Society, family, culture—all of these forces give us a clear picture of what success is supposed to look like.  There’s an instruction manual for life that many of us feel obligated to follow (I followed mine):

  • Go to school (and college)
  • Get a stable job
  • Climb the corporate ladder
  • Buy a house
  • Get married
  • Retire at 65 and finally enjoy life

But what if we didn't follow the instructions like my son with his Lego set? What if success wasn’t about rigidly assembling the pieces precisely as someone else envisioned but about creating something unique that truly aligns with our passions, strengths, and dreams?

 

Breaking the Mold: Redefining Success on Your Terms

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned over the years—and sometimes very much the hard way—is that true success isn’t about building someone else’s version of the Star Destroyer. It’s about creating your masterpiece.

Sometimes in life, we might find ourselves at a crossroads. Maybe we’ve followed the instructions diligently, but we’re feeling unfulfilled. Perhaps we’re realizing the picture on the box isn’t quite what we expected. Maybe we built something only to have things go unexpectedly, and now we must create something different.

If that resonates with you, here are a few key lessons I’ve learned from that Christmas morning in 2008:

  1. Question the Instructions

Who wrote the script you’re following? Did you choose this path because it aligns with your passions or was expected of you? Maybe we followed the path of least resistance.  Sometimes, we need to step back and ask whether our instructions are leading us to the life we want. For instance, if you're in a job that doesn't align with your passions, it might be time to question if that's the right path for you.

  1. Embrace the Mess

Growth is never a perfectly laid-out process. It’s messy, nonlinear, and full of unexpected detours. But within that chaos, there’s opportunity. Sometimes, the best ideas, careers, and relationships emerge when we’re willing to step outside of the predefined steps. Embracing the mess means being open to these unexpected opportunities and not being afraid to deviate from the plan.

  1. Creativity Is a Superpower

Many of us were taught to value order and logic over creativity. However, creativity—the ability to see beyond the expected—is one of the most valuable skills in leadership, personal growth, and business. Just like my son saw infinite possibilities in that pile of Lego bricks, you can reimagine your path.

  1. Be Willing to Pivot

If you’ve spent years assembling your life according to the manual (like I did), it’s never too late to change course. Whether switching careers, starting a new business, pursuing a passion project, or redefining your personal goals, you can break apart what you’ve built and start fresh.

  1. Find Joy in the Process

The biggest lesson from that Christmas morning? My son was entirely in the moment, full of joy—not because he was working toward a finished product, but because he was enjoying the creation process. How often do we delay happiness because we’re too focused on the outcome? Success isn’t just about reaching a goal—it’s about finding fulfillment in the journey.

Building Your Masterpiece

Reflecting on that day, I now realize that my son had the right idea. Life isn’t about assembling a perfect, pre-designed model. It’s about experimenting, taking risks, breaking things apart, and building something uniquely your own.

Maybe the life you’ve built isn’t quite what you imagined. Perhaps it is EXACTLY what you imagined, but now you’re feeling the pull to do something different—to take your carefully arranged pieces and build something new. The beauty of it all? You have the power to start now.

The Lego bricks of your life are scattered before you. You get to decide what to build. Are you ready to look at life’s pile of bricks and imagine the possibilities?

The choice is yours. It’s time to embrace your creativity and build your masterpiece.

Conclusion: Embracing Your Inner Child and Building a Life of Fulfillment

As adults, we often forget the simple joy of creating without limitations or expectations. But as my son showed me that Christmas morning, there is immense power in tapping into our inner child and embracing our creativity.

Life may have given us a script to follow, but it's up to us to question, pivot, and find joy in building our masterpiece. So don't be afraid to break the mold and redefine success on your terms. After all, life is too short to live by someone else's instructions.

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